does anyone really know anyone?

[JaceSan]

You say you stand by your man
Tell me something I don't understand
You said you love me and that's a fact
And then you left me, said you felt trapped

Well some things you can explain away
But the heartache's in me till this day

[Branflakes]

Sorry to hear about the divorce. Makes one rethink trust, when someone you love turns into a stranger. I don't have any advice (though Ersby's sounds like a good one), just well wishes for you.

A.L.J. = Anti Lovable Jinx?

[Exotic Ginger]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor="#DDDDDD"><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Originally posted by erisesoteric:
And personally, in my opinion, we all spend so much time in our own heads, it's amazing we can even talk to one another. Truly knowing each other is something superhuman that only a few of us get.</font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>

I have to echo this statement. I live in my head so much, I'm amazed I notice what's going on around me. (And many times, I don't). But I also agree with others here that you can't think you didn't know your wife at all. Friends do say what they want afterward, and mostly its just a way of making you feel better, depending on what each of them thought you wanted to hear. Not entirely I'm sure, but I bet there's an element of truth to that.

And the stripper story was hilarious. You really should give some serious thought to writing. You can weave words very well.

[JaceSan]

Yeah jones, you should do some more writing.

Gem, follow the link in jones' sig. He's an excellent writer.

[erisesoteric]

Absolutely, jones. More writing!

[usmu]

Sorry to hear all of that Jones. Well apart from the stripper thingy of course. Take care.

[jones]

Thanks for all the support. It is much appreciated.

Just one thing I wanted to comment on:

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">quote:</font><table border="0" width="90%" bgcolor="#333333" cellspacing="1" cellpadding="0"><tr><td width="100%"><table border="0" width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" bgcolor="#FF9900"><tr><td width="100%" bgcolor="#DDDDDD"><font size=2 face="Verdana, Helvetica, sans-serif">Anyway....it's only after a person lives with/marries another person that trouble starts. Relationships are exciting in the beginning because it's all new. After you move in together, then the little things start coming out. No one snores like a bum except the person you're married to.</font></td></tr></table></td></tr></table></BLOCKQUOTE>

We lived together for five years before we were married (ironically, our total time living together outside of marriage was longer than the time we spent married by three or four months). In our case, the real problems came after Oakley was born. She more or less dropped out after that -- still living here but not really being here. It's not that she was a bad mother or didn't take care of Oakley, just that the two of us never spent any time together after that. It was either (1) she was here taking care of him and talking on the phone at the same time, or (2) I was here taking care of him and she was out. And when I would point this out, I was dumb enough to accept the, "Don't you want me to have a life of my own?" turnaround defense. If I'm ever in this kind of situation again (HA!), at least now I know to recognize that for bullsh-t it truly is.

Anyway, that's how it went for a year and a half until she moved out. She still takes care of him (and does a good job of it) at her place most of the time, but pretty much only when it's her turn. For example, this weekend she went out of town with friends, and I took Oakley for four straight days and nights (though I had to give him up for a few hours to his grandmother because I had to see a doctor about the exploding muscle cramps I woke up with on Sunday morning). There was never any question but that I would take him for the extra days while she was gone. But if I were to go away for the same amount of time, I would either have to take Oakley with me (which, actually, I'm planning to do when I go on vacation later this month) or make arrangements for him to be with his grandparents for one or two of those days. There's just no way she could be with him for four days straight.

Well, this has basically devolved into me bitching about my ex-wife now, so I'll wrap it up. Two more things:

(1) Bran, you've definitely a talent for descriptive acronyms. There should be some kind of prize, but I don't know what it would be.

(2) Jace et al, you might want to glance at the Works & Days site if you get the chance. I've got an announcement up there about future chapters.

take care

---jones()

Works & Days

[Branflakes]

See, and I thought that suggestion sucked. I was just hoping it would inspire other ideas.

Glad to hear she does a good job with Oakley.

take care yourself, jones. You'll come through all this just fine.

And Gem, check out jones' writing. He is an incredible writer.

[Jadian]

I know I was looking at that stuff for the first time and I was impressed. I was also wondering why the hell I didn't click on the link sooner, I've been missing out!

[dwim]

Sorry to bring an old post up but I wanna offer my condolences to this guy, who is in the first and formemost a great guy though I've only seen him once. But I am sorry to hear all that jones.
Yet another reminder why I shouldn't get married, then again, I haven't met the one woman who could talk me into it.

(Check spelling on the side? Hmmm interesting....)